Happy Friday, Everybody!

I am thrilled to be featuring a new guest poster today. Jeannie, of The Adventures of Mr. Busypants, graciously offered to help me out with a guest post, as I have been backed up with work this week I have been enjoying her blog for a while now, and I am very excited to be introducing her to any of you who haven’t found her blog yet.

So, without further introduction: Kids and Restaurants (Part 2)

Jeannie

Margo’s blog post about Kids and Restaurants instantly inspired me to write on this subject. I know there are many families out there who take their kids to restaurants often, but we are not one of those families. Early in my parenting years (a whole six years ago), I decided that it was more work than it was worth to go to a restaurant since the task of enjoying a meal while I keeping my little guy happy was insurmountable.

Alex (aka. Mr. Busypants) was awful in public practically from day one. The first three months I was pretty much a prisoner in my own home. And why wouldn’t I stay home? At home, the kid happily sat in his Fisher-Price Ocean Wonders Cradle Swing (to which I am deeply indebted) and swayed side to side for hours. I felt pretty guilty about it at first because I wasn’t holding him 24/7, but I gave that up because a not-screaming-at-the-top-of-his-lungs baby is a happy baby.

From there we just kind of got used to not going out. I mean, we did from time to time take him to restaurants, but he was always whiny and in general, a pain.

During that first year, I considered Alex to be a pretty good eater. He pretty much ate any Stage 1 or 2 foods I gave him (with the exception of the stinky meat that my dog wouldn’t eat either).  When we hit the solid food, it got more difficult. He had a pretty basic regime that he’d accept and outside of that he’d obsessively pick up each individual piece of food and drop it on the floor.

His picky behavior surpassed that of typical toddlers. He refused eat anything slimy (like fruit) or crunchy (like cookies), or that had to be bitten off a large part; everything had to be cut in tiny pieces. While I watched all the other toddlers at play group swarming around their mommies eating coffee cake, I sat peacefully eating my own piece because Alex wasn’t the least bit interested. This started to make sense when, at 21 months old, Alex was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction, and later autism.

As we learned more about the diagnosis and how it related to Alex specifically, it became pretty obvious why the kid wouldn’t sit in a restaurant: sensory overload. It also explained the food refusal: his mouth is overly sensitive to foods to this day. In fact, we spent three months in food therapy trying to get him to hold a fruit snack in his mouth for 60 seconds before he spit it out. And that’s without any chewing.

During those early years in his diagnosis, we could go to a restaurant, order mac-n-cheese, and pretty much know that he’d eat it—with his hand like a caveman, but nonetheless, he’d eat it. These days he’ll only eat Kraft, and only if it’s been prepared at home. Chili’s serves Kraft mac-n-cheese, but as far as he’s concerned, it’s different. So without there being an item on the menu that he would partake in, we figured, why bother taking him to restaurants. I mean, we couldn’t even wave the food-is-coming-soon carrot: he could care less. As a result, from the time we were seated ‘til the time we left, we had one antsy kid on our hands.

Several months ago, I took my daughter, Jorie, to a restaurant with my friend, who insisted that we (and when I say we I mean she) train Jorie to understand that getting out of the high chair is never an option. She screamed through half our meal. My friend insisted on leaving her. Having spent six years of my parenting life not being able to eat with my kid in a restaurant, I defaulted to her judgment, all the while apologizing profusely to anyone within earshot. Everyone was incredibly gracious and understanding, citing times in their lives when they were in the same position. Still, I didn’t feel right about it, yet if one hellish nightmare of a meal is what it takes to train my kid to sit quietly for the rest, it’s got to be acceptable, right?

More recently, Alex was away for a weekend with a friend, so my husband Scott and I took Jorie to a local Italian restaurant, where, for the first time ever, I had the joy of taking a mostly civilized child to a restaurant where she actually ate something off the menu. Our dining experience couldn’t have been nicer. Jorie smiled and charmed anyone in her eye line and Scott and I actually had a conversation that wasn’t constantly interrupted. Who knew dining with a kid could go so smoothly? We even stopped for ice cream afterwards.

A week later, we were driving home from an appointment. The kids were hungry and after having such a nice experience the week before, I suggested we eat at a nearby Chili’s. Scott was surprised because it’s just not something we do, but with a couple of bags of Cheezits, crayons and some paper to keep Alex busy, and a rack of lamb to keep Jorie chomping (she’s quite an eater—but I’m exaggerating just a little), we had our first, drama-free, full-family dining experience that wasn’t at a Chuck-E-Cheese, McDonalds or the like.

Jeannie Anderson is a stay-at-home mom with two children, Alex (aka Mr. Busypants), 6, and Jorie (aka Miss Chattyshoes), 2. She is a part-time college-level writing instructor at three Chicago-area colleges and writes about the Adventures of Mr. Busypants and her life as a writer and a teacher. You can find her on Twitter @mamabusypants.

You Can Find Jeannie at: http://mamabusypants.blogspot.com and http://jeannieanderson.blogspot.com