Acting Like A Kid

Mark and I don’t go out to eat very often, but when we do, we almost always have Becca right there with us. We enjoy bringing her, and she behaves fairly well (usually.) Sure, there are times that she gets a little moody, and throws her toys around, but they don’t go far, and no one has ever been hit by them.

But, after reading a post somewhere about kids in restaurants, and then witnessing a really strange situation the last time we went out, I figured the topic deserved a post.

The general idea of the other post was that parents should not bring children to a restaurant if they cannot control them. Which, okay, makes sense. If your kids are running up and down the aisles, maybe it is time for the parents to step in and do something. I worked at Applebee’s for over two years, part of that time as a hostess. There were a few kids I would have gladly bound and gagged before handing them back to their parents, if given the chance.

As a mom, however, I know that kids will be kids. If you want to eat a nice, quiet romantic dinner, don’t bring your date to a family restaurant. Sitting still for the whole meal, quietly, is hard. Not spilling stuff on a small, over-filled table? Even harder. And everyone who has siblings (or more than one kid) knows that when you pack a group of related kids into a tight booth, you are just setting yourself up for trouble.

One commentor on the other post suggested a “family” dining area in restaurants. Which, really, makes a lot of sense. I live in New York. We got rid of the smoking section in restaurants years ago — no smoking allowed in public buildings– but I think a family section would be great. I love being sat next to other families when we go out. And a lot of servers, and hostesses, are encouraged to seat families that way; I sure was. What a relief. Instead of getting glared at by the grumpy older couple, who just wanted a quiet meal, or the businessmen who are there to work (which, if you think about it, going to a place like Applebee’s to get work done is kinda stupid anyhow..), the kids can giggle and laugh amongst themselves, moms can exchange the kids’ ages and a few other niceties, and everyone wins.

We went out Monday night with my mom and three sisters to a chinese buffet here in town. Meal was going great. Until this kid sitting near us started to cry. Uncontrollably. And his dad seemed to get kind of annoyed. And then he started throwing up. A lot. Over and over. While continuing to cry. One of my sisters (sorry, Sam) turned pale, and ran across the floor over to where the buffet area was. My mom and I brought over our extra napkins, and asked if he was okay. His dad assured us that he was, so we went over to sit back down. Then the dad picked the kid up (he maybe 5-7 years old) and set him on the ground, just sitting there, still crying. The dad tried to clean up a little, all the while giving this kid a hard time. From what I over heard, the boy does this every time they bring him out.

Wait– What? Every time? And yet, you keep bringing him? It was pretty obvious something was upsetting the boy, and then he got sick. If this is a pattern, maybe it’s something that should be checked into. Maybe the restaurant atmosphere, and having to sit still, the different plates than he’s used to, or whatever else, is really stressful for him. And I didn’t see how the mom and dad acting like he was doing it intentionally was helping. Dad brought him to the bathroom to clean them off, the waitress brought over a rag for the mom to use, and then they left.

I could understand how frustrating, and embarrasing, that had to be for the parents. But I’m sure their son was feeling even worse. And all of the other patrons, especially those of us sitting right near the family, were not particularly enjoying it, either.

I am the first person to say that people with parents should not be treated like they are at fault when their kids are acting like kids. Airplanes, restuarants, stores…  The people who expect us moms (and dads) to keep our children silent, still, and unnoticible have either never had children before, or it was so long ago they forgot what it was like. I wouldn’t hesitate to bring Becca almost anywhere. On the other hand, I won’t subject other people to her temper tantrums (we’d go outside for a bit) or to her getting violently ill. If I knew it was going to be a situation every time we left the house, we’d get a sitter. Or figure out another way of doing things. I try to keep the other customers in mind, too.

This post kind of rambled a little (sorry).

The bottom line is this: If you can go to a restaurant with your children, and keep them from screaming or running all over the place, then there is no reason not to go. If you want a place where kids can get a little louder, plan on a kid-friendly restaurant.

And if your child throws up every time you go out to eat, maybe you should reconsider going out as a family. Or at least wait until he is older. There is always take-out.

So, what do you think? Have you ever had any really bad experiences with kids (your own, or someone elses) in restaurants? Should family seating become more popular?