Father’s Day

World's Best Dad

Yup. It’s late… *sigh*

I’m going to let you all in on a secret. Four years ago, I did not want kids. Ever. Maybe adopt someday, but that was it. I was going to pursue a career, get my Ph.D., buy a home, get married along the way, but no kids. Not for me.

And then I met Mark. Although I was still technically with my previous boyfriend, we connected. And a month and a half later we moved in together. We got engaged and began planning out our future.

A funny thing happened as I started to get to know him. I decided that, yeah, maybe I do want kids after all. How about that?  We got married December 31st of that year, and we were pregnant by February. We danced around the kitchen when we found out, then I proceeded to call my sisters (swearing them into secrecy) and my best friend. We began planning out the pregnancy, and then figuring out what we needed for the baby. Mark was involved every step of the way. He only missed one doctor’s appointment. I knew early that he was going to make an excellent dad.

Becca was born October 27th. The day before, Mark walked with me, in the rain, all over town. When we got to the delivery room, he was all set. Tired, but ready to go. He sat there with me after I was given Nubain, which made me high. (That is another story for another time..), and he massaged my back, helped me move, and watched the monitor for contractions. Because I couldn’t feel them. (I LOVE EPIDURALS!)

Beeca sucking on Mark's (clean) finger just after she was born.

When Becca was born, he cut the cord, took pictures, and ran down the hallway every hour to get me juice. He stayed at the hospital the whole time, sleeping in a horrible looking fold-out chair. When we got home, he grilled some Hoffman hot dogs for me (the one thing I wanted the most during the pregnancy, and couldn’t have), made me some apples and peanut butter, and made sure I was totally comfortable.
We stumbled through a lot of sleepless nights, taking turns with Becca. We eventually developed a shift system. I would take four hours while he slept, then I would sleep for four hours (besides nursing times), and then we would switch back for a couple of shorter shifts. We did this for a couple months, one of us in bed, the other out on the fold-out love seat. It wasn’t until Becca was over 2 months old that we could sleep in the same room. When my nephew was born, I suggested this method to my sister-in-law. She laughed and said that he boyfriend would never agree to it. I realized then how lucky I was.

Thwarting an Escape Attempt

When Becca was about three months old, Mark was suddenly out of a job. He didn’t go back to work for a month, which was okay because we got our tax returns about the same time. He spent all day with Becca and me. They really bonded. Before, she liked him, but didn’t really know him because he was working so often. But with him home, they got to spend a lot of time together. It was great.

Mark has been there for almost every big milestone. He takes care of Becca on the weekends so that I can work. He is still better at putting her to sleep than I am, and Becca gets so excited to spend any time with him. They go to the park, or to visit my mother-in-law. He loves to cuddle and read. Watching the two of them together, I fall in love all over again.

He’s not only a great dad, he’s a great husband as well. I hate to clean, and I stay really busy with work, which makes it hard to find time to clean. He does the dishes most of the time. He tidies up the apartment. Granted, a lot of this has to do with the fact that my idea of “good enough” and his idea of what actually constitutes a clean home are miles apart, but I do really appreciate the help. He has been very supportive of my decision to become self-employed, and has listened to my whining and ranting along the way. He sits there and listens while I describe an exciting new opportunity, or the piece that I am currently working on. When I decided to write a novel, he supported me there, too. He fields questions about what I do, and is proud of what I have accomplished. He watches Becca all weekend, and an hour or so on the days he works, so that I can get stuff done.

I consider myself one of the luckiest women in the world, and I know Becca is a lucky girl too. Mark doesn’t consider taking care of Becca as my “job,” not even in the year before I was working. He has always taken his fair share of the work. And then some. We might fuss and fight sometimes, but at the end of the day, I always go to bed knowing that I am a very fortunate gal.

Tagged as: In the Life, my thoughts